The following is a list of Facebook status’ that my eight-week-old son would post if he had sorted out that typing thing.
- Holding my pee until the next diaper change, hoping to get it on dad this time. If I miss the old man, again, I hope to at least go higher on the wall than any previous shots
- Balding (do they make infant Rogaine?)
- Waiting for my parents to get some girls up into this place
- Just farted on mom while she was eating. LOVED the look on her face when she pushed her plate aside
- Got a big one brewing, hope mom has plenty of diaper wipes
- Getting sleepy
- Pinching a loaf
- Peeing
- Eating
- Staring at nothing
- In daddy’s arms, crop dusting the room
- Wishing dad would stop singing, I’m not even two months old and I know that guy is tone-deaf
- Hungry
- Looking so damn cute it should be illegal
